Interview With An Elf Ranger from DnD: Tiny Adventures

Talk Show Host: Good Evening, we have here today as our guest, Miss Jojo, a Level 7 Elf Ranger from Dungeons & Dragons: Tiny Adventures.

Jojo: I’m sorry, but I’m actually Level 8 now.

TSH: My bad. There you have it from Miss Jojo herself, a true-blue, or should I say, true-blood Level 8
Elf Ranger.

J: It’s ok. It’s pretty common for normal folk to think that we D&D: Tiny Adventures characters level up slowly while it’s actually the total opposite. I should be at Level 9 once I’m finished with this interview.

TSH: So tell me Jojo, as an Elf Ranger in a big bad world of Tiny Adventures, what are you good for?

J: I can’t say I can give you a good time (who would want to), but apparently, I’m good at duel-wielding stuff but please don’t get any ideas. I’m also apparently good at ranged weaponry like bows, but what I’ve seen so far in Tiny Adventures are daggers, swords, maces..and more daggers!

TSH: Speaking about weaponry, what’s your favourite instrument for administering pain?

J: Definitely my Lifedrinker’s Dagger. It gives me a +10HP, + 3 ATT stats boost. Remember the duel-wielding thing I said earlier? Well I carry two of these babies at all times and I have another two in my inventory. You know, just in case? A gal can’t have enough of these LsDs.

TSH: Do you mind telling us your stats?

J: You mean my vital stats? Sure…32..27..

TSH: I don’t mean that, I meant stats for Attack Bonus, Armor Class and Hit Points…

J: Oh that.. that would be 18, 22, and 99.

TSH: That’s a mighty a load of hit points you’ve got there Jojo.

J: Why, thank you.

TSH: How do you keep yourself protected in your adventures?

J: Well.. not that I’m promiscuous or anything, but there’s always rubber..

TSH: I meant Body Armour..

J: Oh..oh.. Well, I use a Horned Helm on my head, Dragonscale Bracers, Gauntlets of Ogre Power, Ironskin Belt and Fireburst Robes. We Elf Ranger ladies aren’t accustomed to heavier armor, so I usually end up selling whatever Heavy Armor loot I find for some sweet sweet gold. I’m saving up for one of those Louis Vuitton handbags actually.

TSH: They have those in Tiny Adventures shop?

J: No, don’t be silly. Of course not. Talking bout the shop, it’s always out of Healing Potions and Elixirs of Vitality. A word from the wise, aside from nice stats (and killer heels), you can go anywhere with these two potions.

TSH: It sounds like a pretty tough world out there in Tiny Adventures. Do you get someone to accompany you on your adventures?

J: You know what? It’s pretty hard to get a guy, especially if you are like..a couple hundred of years older than him. I spend my nights when I’m not killing a kobold or two, alone, listening to Akon on my iPod.

TSH: Guy problems aside, what’s your pet peeve when you’re out adventuring?

J: I hate any kind of ability check with high difficulty. I get bad rolls in that kind of situation.

TSH: What happens when you get a poor roll?

J: Lots of things, usually my hit points will take a hit (pun not intended, it’s not funny at all) but there are times my other attributes are hit as well. This is so embarrassing but there’s this one time I had 4 points deducted from my intelligence attribute. I felt so stupid throughout the rest of that adventure, kept bumping into trees and falling off small cliffs all the time!

TSH: That sounds..dangerous, but what do you have to say for aspiring adventurers on Tiny Adventures?

J: It’s addictive! Once you are done with one adventure, you would want more! Don’t forget your potions…very important! Anyways, I gotta go now, the Monsters Isles are a-calling. Thanks for having me here by the way.

TSH: You’re welcome Jojo. There you have it folks, a seasoned adventurer on Dungeons & Dragons: Tiny Adventures. Get your own adventure now, at your Facebook profile!

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